Find Your Way Back
by TessaStarDean
Summary: Chloe's been keeping a secret from Jack and it almost destroys their friendship. AU PostSeason 5. Jack doesn't go to China.


Chloe paced back and forth, a finger in her mouth as she gnawed at the nail. Her apartment was small, and she had already crossed her living room more than a dozen times. She wracked her brain, trying to think of what she should do without giving in to the worst case scenario images that were flashing through her mind. As her nail was ravaged, she switched to a new finger, subconsciously keeping herself from drawing blood.

Finally she ripped her hand away from her mouth and picked up her cell phone again. She flipped it open, stopping her pacing and resuming her fidgeting as she silently willed it to ring. She had already called him twice, afraid that any more would draw suspicion if he was in trouble.

Her mind kept going back to one solution, but she was wary to take that route. He would be mad at her, and he would every right to be. But he was the only one who could help, the only one she would want there if things took a sudden turn south.

Telling the other half of her brain to shut up, Chloe grabbed her purse and ran out of her apartment.

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"I need to tell you something and you're not going to like it," Chloe blurted out as soon as he opened the door.

Jack stared at her for a moment, processing her words. Stepping aside, he motioned for her to come in before he shut the door gently behind them. He was surprised to see her – for the past year it had been him showing up at her door at all hours. She would take his hand without a word and lead him in, giving him a place to sleep or just sit quietly. She held him as he cried after the funerals of David Palmer, Michelle and Tony. She made sure he ate and went to work. On Friday nights they would order out and watch movies all night. Now he watched as she fidgeted, standing in the middle of his living room as though there were a million other places she'd rather be.

"Sit down," he said gently.

Chloe shook her head. "I'd rather not. I just need to get this over with."

Jack looked at her closely, trying to figure out what was making her so nervous. He thought back to the past few weeks, wondering if he had said or done something to upset her. He came up with nothing.

"Okay, then," he said. "What do you need to tell me?"

She chewed on her lip. "You might want to sit down."

Jack tried to push down the worry that was threatening to overwhelm him. His mind flashed to the worst possible scenarios and he futilely tried to rid himself of those images. He walked over to the couch on shaky legs and took a seat, looking up at her apprehensively.

Chloe looked down at the ground, wringing her hands in front of her. She kept shifting her weight back and forth between her legs, trying to find a comfortable position and coming up empty.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you," she said in a rush.

He frowned at her in confusion. "About what?"

Jack watched as her eyes filled up with tears and she looked everywhere but at him. "Tony's alive," she whispered.

His throat suddenly closed and Jack struggled to breathe. "What?" he croaked out.

Tears were now sliding down her cheeks. "Tony," she said in a louder voice. "He's alive. He faked his death."

He was in front of her in an instant, his hands gripping her upper arms painfully. Not stopping when he reached her, he backed her across the room until she slammed into the door.

"What are you saying?" he demanded.

She finally raised her eyes to his, the pain in them evident. "After David Palmer and Michelle…we knew that Tony would be next. That whoever was coming after him would find out that he hadn't died in the explosion. Bill decided that we had to find a way to get him away safely…so we made a deal with Henderson…"

"I killed Henderson," Jack hissed.

Chloe nodded. "I know. We told him that after he got out of CTU, he was on his own. That it wouldn't be our fault if you found him and killed him. After everything he'd done, he deserved it."

Jack clenched his jaw and a vein in his forehead popped out. His grip on Chloe tightened until she cried out in pain, and then he was moving away, walking back into the living room. One hand covered his eyes as the other gripped the back of the recliner.

"For the past year…you've…you've mourned with me. You…you comforted me." He looked back at her, tears on his face. "Dammit, Chloe, you held me while I cried."

"I know," she whispered.

"How could you do that?" he asked, his voice steadily growing louder. "How could you do that knowing the truth? How could you watch me like that, KNOWING that you could make all the pain stop by just telling me the truth?"

"I had to-"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" he screamed.

"Jack, please-"

"You should have TRUSTED me enough to tell me, Chloe!"

Chloe's head snapped up and she tried to inject some confidence into her voice. "This wasn't about trust-"

"THE HELL IT WASN'T!" he roared. "If you trusted me…hell, if you cared about me in the SLIGHTEST, you wouldn't have been able to watch me hurt like that day after day. You would have TOLD me. That's what a FRIEND would have done!"

At that, Chloe's resolve broke. Her sobs came unbidden as she folded in on herself, her arms wrapping around her waist. She tried to cry quietly, but his words cut through to her very core, stopping her heart and her ability to breathe.

Even through his anger, Jack hated to see her in so much pain. He wanted to go to her, to hold her and tell her that it was okay. But then he remembered his own pain, and how he had mourned the loss of one of his best friends. He turned from her, unable to watch her cry any longer.

"Why are you telling me?"

"What?"

"Now," he said quietly. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"He didn't check in."

Jack's head snapped up and he turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"He was supposed to check in this morning, but he didn't. And he didn't answer when I called. Jack…I'm worried about him. I want to go check on him. But if he's in trouble, I won't be much help."

"Which is why you came to me," he said dully.

Chloe nodded. "Please Jack," she pleaded. "You can hate me as much as you want. But Tony might need us. We have to find him."

Jack gave a slight shake of his head, indicating that he agreed. Taking a deep breath, he moved into the kitchen to grab his gun and his keys. "Are you armed?" he asked gruffly.

"No," she replied.

He grabbed a second gun from a drawer and handed to her, refusing to meet her teary gaze. As he put the gun in the waistband of his pants, he asked another question.

"What about you?"

Chloe looked up at him in confusion, wishing that he would look at her so that she could read his expression. "What about me?"

"If you knew they would go after Tony again, then you had to expect them to go after you again too. They had tried to kill you that morning and failed."

She nodded in understanding. "Bill wanted me to go underground with Tony."

"Why didn't you?"

She shrugged. "I was the only one who could make sure Tony was safe."

Biting back his tears, Jack walked toward the door swiftly, leading them out of the apartment without another word.

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The long ride only made things worse for Chloe. She could feel the butt of the gun sticking into her ribs. Her shirt clung to her back, drenched in sweat from the heat of summer in L.A. Jack didn't speak the entire time. He kept his gaze focused on the road and both hands on the wheel, the white of his knuckles the only sign that anything was wrong. She opened her mouth several times, wanting, needing to say something to him. But every word that ran through her head sounded hollow and trite. So she closed her mouth again and looked out her window at the passing cities, trying desperately to not break down.

As the drive came to an end and they neared their destination, Chloe spoke in quiet tones to lead him to Tony's apartment building. When they parked, she noticed that his vehicle was still there. She didn't know whether to take that as a sign for hope or distress. They got out of the car, Jack signaling that Chloe should stay behind him. Guns drawn they moved inside, climbing the stairs until they reached the third floor.

When they got to the apartment, Jack tried the knob, frowning when the door swung open easily. He walked in, gun at the ready, checking each room before coming back to stand in the living room. Chloe stood a few feet away, her heart heavy in the bottom of her stomach as she surveyed the mess around them.

Furniture was broken and the bits strewn everywhere. Chloe winced as she took a step and heard glass crunching beneath her. She looked down to see a framed picture of Michelle, the glass shattered. She felt a lump rise in her throat at the thought of Tony, sitting alone in the apartment, staring at a picture of his dead wife. Looking up, she found Jack starting at her. When his eyes met hers, he jerked his gaze away, looking once more around the room.

"He's not here," he stated needlessly.

Chloe nodded. "So where do we start?"

"I already know where he is."

"But how-"

He handed her a matchbook, passing by her and out into the hall. Chloe read the cover. "Glendale Hotel?"

She turned to look at Jack questioningly, but found that he had already begun descending the stairs. Biting back a sarcastic comment, she followed, closing the apartment door after him. By the time she go to the car, he already had it started and was waiting for her. She was almost surprised at the latter. As she climbed into the car, she gave him an icy stare.

"Thanks for waiting," she snapped.

"I don't leave loose ends," he replied.

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By the time they pulled up to the hotel, they still hadn't spoken to each other. Chloe was fighting between anger and pain, the two slowly merging as she realized that Jack might not forgive her for this. That single thought made her want to curl up and cry, but right now she didn't have that option. After they found Tony and got him away safely she could deal with it. Maybe she would leave, just walk away from everything. It would be better than seeing Jack everyday and seeing the betrayal in his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me why we're here?" she asked quietly as he parked the car.

Jack sighed. "The matchbook. I'm pretty sure it was a clue from Tony. This is where he and Michelle had their wedding reception."

"How will we know where he is once we're inside? It's a big hotel, Jack."

"If it was open, he probably took the room they stayed in on their wedding night."

"Do you know which one that is?"

"I booked it for them," he said quietly.

Feeling tears once again threatening to overwhelm him, Jack opened his door and stepped out of the car. He walked toward the door, stopping when he realized that Chloe wasn't with him. He looked at the SUV and saw that she was still sitting inside it, the door closed. Again he was torn between anger and wanting to comfort her. He had never seen her in so much pain before, and it gnawed at him. But they didn't have time for this right now. He caught her eye and just stared at her until she finally opened the door and stepped out of the car. Giving him a hesitant glance she walked up to him, stopping a few feet away when he didn't move. They stared at each other for a moment before Jack dropped his gaze and led her into the hotel.

They paused in front of the door to the room. Chloe waited for Jack to do something…anything. But he just kept staring at the floor, leaning one hand on the door frame. Struggling with herself, Chloe reached forward gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. She nearly cried when he jerked away, his jaw clenching. Keeping his eyes away from hers, he raised his hand to knock.

"How is he going to know it's us?" she asked quietly.

Her question gave him reason to pause, and his hand stayed in the air as he tried to come up with a solution. An idea coming to her, Chloe reached into her purse and pulled out an old receipt, scribbling a little note on the back. Then she bent down and slid it under the door, praying that Tony was in fact the person staying in that room.

They waited, Jack still leaning against the doorframe with his head bent and Chloe looking up and down the hall as she bit idly at one of her fingernails. Both jumped as they heard the locks being undone and saw the handle being slowly turned.

The face that greeted them was worn and tired. He looked at them with sad eyes – eyes that told what a struggle it was just to keep breathing. At the sight of Jack he frowned, his overworked brain unable to comprehend exactly what was going on. He turned back to Chloe and opened his mouth to speak when a gruff voice stopped him.

"Tony…"

"Inside," Chloe insisted quietly. "We can talk inside."

Tony nodded and stepped aside, letting them in. Chloe moved forward, but noticed that Jack was still standing there, staring at his friend in wonder and confusion. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed his hand and dragged him in, relieved that he didn't shake her off like he had before.

They stood awkwardly just inside the room, none of them entirely sure of what they should say. Chloe still held Jack's hand, a testament to the fact that he was still in shock.

"You didn't check in," she finally said in a small voice. "I was worried that something had happened. I had to bring someone who could help…"

Tony nodded, giving her a small smile to let her know that it was okay. Then he turned to the man before him. He could see how tightly he was gripping Chloe's hand and how hard he was clenching his jaw to keep his emotions in check.

"Hey, Jack," he said quietly, stretching out his right hand.

Hesitating for a moment, Jack took his hand, tightening his hold as though he were afraid that he would suddenly disappear. A strangled sob escaped his lips and Tony pulled him into a hug, gripping him hard and telling him that it was going to be okay. After a few moments, Jack pulled away awkwardly, suddenly ashamed of his outburst. He wiped at his face angrily, cursing himself silently for his tears.

"I'm glad you're alive, Tony," he rasped, avoiding his friend's gaze.

Tony let out a small laugh. "Grow up, Jack." He paused looking over at Chloe. "You should thank Chloe that I'm still here, though. She's kept me safe for the past year."

At the mention of her name, Jack tensed again, his gaze moving over Tony's shoulder as he tried to block out his words. None of this went unnoticed by the other man.

"You can't blame her, Jack," he said quietly. "She did what she had to do to keep me safe. She's the only reason I'm alive right now."

Jack looked back at Tony, the anger clear in his eyes. "She should have told me," he spat out.

"Can we please not talk about me as though I'm not here?" Chloe interjected. "You can yell at me later, Jack. Right now we need to figure out-"

Her words were interrupted by the door bursting open. The three of them stared in surprise as Mandy came into the room, a cruel smile on her face and twin 9mm Berettas in her hands.

"All three of you together. How nice," she breathed, aiming the guns at Tony and Jack.

Tony dove to the side and Chloe pushed Jack out of the way, crying out in pain as the bullet pierced her skin. Jack watched as she fell to the ground before he got up and launched himself at Mandy, his gun forgotten on the floor. He pinned her underneath him, both hands around her neck as he slowly choked the life out of her. He was so focused on hurting her that he didn't see the knife she pulled from the waistband of her pants until she was jamming it at him. Moving just in time, he rolled to the side, grimacing as the blade sliced across his right forearm. Mandy got up quickly, another gun appearing in her hand as she strode toward Jack.

"Hey Mandy."

She turned in surprise at the voice, and Tony put a bullet in her head without a second's hesitation. Her body crumpled to the floor immediately, the gun falling from her hand and skittering across the room. Tony lowered his weapon, looking down at her in satisfaction, some of the weariness and pain melting from his face.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Jack pushed himself into a sitting position, taking a moment to absorb what had just happened. As his eyes swept the room, they came to rest on Chloe, who was sitting against another wall, her hand clamped over the wound in her arm. Her eyes met his for a moment before she began to push herself up until she was standing.

"I think you can come out of hiding now, Tony," she said quietly.

He nodded, disappearing into the bedroom quickly and coming back out with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. At their questioning glances he shrugged. "I didn't exactly get a chance to unpack."

"Let's go," Chloe said abruptly when she saw Jack moving toward her with concern in his eyes. Without a backward glance, she led them out of the hotel.

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The car ride back was laced with icy tension. Jack constantly stole glances at Chloe, who was sitting beside him in the passenger seat. She kept her eyes locked on her window, her shoulders stiff and her body language cold. His gaze ran down her body as his brain reached for something to say to her. As he opened his mouth, he stopped suddenly, staring at the blood that was soaking through her sleeve.

"You're still bleeding," he said quietly, bringing his eyes back to the road.

"That's what happens when you get shot," she snapped back.

They came to a stoplight and Jack took the opportunity to lean over and check her wound. As his fingers brushed against her arm, Chloe jerked away roughly, pushing herself further against her door.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, still not looking at him.

Jack's hands froze and he closed his eyes in pain. Opening them again, he looked up at her, mentally willing her to turn her head. But Chloe just stared out her window, refusing to give in to his silent pleas. One tear sliding down his cheek, he leaned back into his seat, placing his hands on the steering wheel and refocusing on the road.

"Let me," Tony said quietly.

He leaned forward from the backseat and gently probed Chloe's wound. He reached into his bag and pulled out an old t-shirt, and used it to wipe away the blood. When he could see the injury more clearly, he smiled.

"It just grazed your arm. Looks like you're gonna live, Chloe."

"Great," she muttered.

She missed Jack's quiet sigh of relief.

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When they arrived at Chloe's apartment building, all three got out of the car and stood awkwardly by the hood. Chloe busied herself with searching for her keys, but then was left fidgeting again when she found them. She looked down at her feet for a moment before lifting her gaze to Tony's.

"You can stay with me. Until you find a place of your own again."

Tony looked back and forth between his friends, sighing at the way they were avoiding each other completely. Jack's hands were in his pockets as he leaned against the car, and he looked up every now and then to gaze at Chloe, pain evident in his eyes. Chloe, on the other hand, was slightly turned toward Tony so that she had some of her back to Jack. He didn't know what had happened between the two, but he could imagine that Jack hadn't taken the news of his faked death very well, and he had probably taken it out on Chloe. Whatever hurt she had been nursing earlier, she had now turned to anger, and she looked as though she didn't have any intentions of forgiving Bauer.

Trying to hide a small smile, Tony reached over and plucked Chloe's keys out of her hand. She frowned at him in confusion, moving to steal them back.

"I've got a better idea," he explained. "How about I stay at Chloe's place and Chloe stays with Jack?"

Jack's head shot up at the suggestion and he looked apprehensively between Tony and Chloe. His eyes stopped on her face as his heart sank at the expression there.

"I hate that idea, Tony. It's a bad idea," she protested.

"Just get back in the car, Chloe," he told her.

"No! You're not kicking me out of my own apartment!"

"Actually, I am. Get in the damn car and stop being so difficult. I know you're pissed at Jack. And I know you probably have every right to be. But you have to at least talk to him about it before you decide to hate him for the rest of your life."

He watched sadly as her composure started to crack. Tears filled her eyes and her lower lip began to tremble. Breathing shakily, she abruptly turned and got back into the car, refusing to look at either of them. Jack's eyes followed her, his shoulders slumping.

"What are you doing?" he asked Tony after she had shut the door.

Tony took a few steps closer until he was nose-to-nose with him. "Fix this, Jack." He turned to give Chloe a small smile before he went up to her apartment.

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As soon as Jack opened the door to the apartment, Chloe made a beeline for the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. He sighed as he stared at the closed door, moving into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. When it was finished, he grabbed two mugs and poured the coffee, hoping that this would serve as the beginning of a peace offering.

It was then that he realized that Chloe was still in the bathroom. He shut of the coffee machine and moved down the hall, stopping in front of the door. Leaning his head closer, he caught the faint sounds of sobbing. Closing his eyes and silently cursing himself, Jack opened the door and nearly broke himself at the sight before him. Chloe was huddled on the edge of the tub, her head nearly resting on her knees as she wept.

Moving without hesitation, Jack lifted her into his arms, ignoring her weak protests. He carried her out of the bathroom and down the hall, nudging the door to his bedroom open with his foot. When he got to the bed, he gently laid her down and sat at the foot, dragging her legs into his lap. As she covered her eyes in an attempt to hide her tears, Jack untied one of her shoes and gently removed it. She peeked around her fingers as he removed her sock as well, softly kneading the arch of her foot. When he was done, he removed her other sneaker and sock and massaged that foot as well, all the time murmuring kind and soothing words to her in an effort to stem her tears.

Looking up, he saw that she was looking at him in wonder, her eyes mostly dry as she simply stared at him. Jack got up from the bed, removing his own shoes and moving to the other side before laying down next to her. He pulled the blanket up over both of them and laid on his side to face her. Reaching out his hand, he smoothed her hair before hooking an arm underneath her and dragging her so that she lay on his chest, her face centimeters from his. Eyes searching hers desperately, he leaned his forehead against hers, his arms holding her tight.

"Can you…" his voice broke as the fear threatened to overwhelm him. "Can you forgive me?" he whispered.

Chloe's eyes closed involuntarily at his words and she bit her lip as she tried to compose herself. Her silence tugged at him and his tears spilled out.

"Please, Chloe," he choked out. "I'm so sorry. I should never have said those things. I was just…hurt, and angry. I should have thanked you instead of yelling at you. Please don't shut me out. Please don't hate me."

Still she kept her eyes closed and Jack's chest constricted painfully. "Please, baby," he whispered. "Please…"

His words were cut off by the gentle pressure of her lips on his. Jack's eyes snapped open in surprise as her hands came up to cradle his face. As she moved her tongue out to nudge open his lips, Jack closed his eyes again and sank into the kiss. His arms tightened around her as he opened his mouth, letting her tongue in to tangle with his. Their kisses grew more passionate as Chloe tilted her head to deepen the kiss even more, and her arms wrapped around his neck. Shimmying slightly, she pulled herself farther up his body, causing Jack to groan and his arousal to become apparent. Sliding her legs down on either side of him, she clenched her thighs and he bucked against her, his hands sliding up the back of her shirt and struggling with the clasp of her bra.

It was then that Jack felt the tears falling from her eyes onto his face. He pulled back slowly, framing her face with his hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," she whispered, closing her eyes and leaning against him. "I didn't mean to, Jack. It wasn't about trust. It killed me to watch you hurt like that. I wanted to tell you so badly, every single day-"

"Shhhh," he whispered. "It's okay. I know you had to do it, Chloe. I'm not mad."

"I thought you'd hate me forever," she said brokenly.

Jack kissed her again, fast and firm. "I don't hate you," he said when he pulled back. "I could never hate you." He paused. "I was afraid I lost you," he whispered. "That I'd pushed you too far away."

Chloe shook her head, brushing her lips against his softly before nipping at his bottom lip and plunging her tongue in again. She let her hands wander down to the bottom of his shirt, slowly easing them under it and running her short nails across his skin. This time Jack made easy work of the clasp, and he had just gotten her shirt over her head when his phone rang.

Growling in frustration, he pulled her down again, determined to ignore the ringing. But Chloe dragged her lips away as she looked at the phone in confusion.

"That's my number," she said quietly.

Jack reached over and picked it up. "Bauer."

"Did you apologize yet?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"Did you kiss and make up?"

"We started to. But then we were rudely interrupted."

"Thanks for the mental image."

"It's your own damn fault." Jack paused, brushing a stray hair from Chloe's face and smiling at her. "Hey, Tony. Instead of looking for a place, why don't you just stay at Chloe's?"

"Is Chloe not coming back?"

Jack's smile grew at Chloe's confused expression. "She has a new home now."

At his words, Chloe beamed at him, leaning down and capturing his lips with hers. Dropping the phone to the floor, Jack slid the straps of her bra down her arms, slowly revealing her breasts to him. As he hands brushed against them, Chloe let out a throaty moan that nearly caused Jack to lose his mind.

"You could've at least hung up the phone," Tony's voice floated up from the floor. The only response he got was more groaning and the creaking of the bed as Jack flipped Chloe onto her back. "You two are disgusting, you know that right?"

Reaching down, Jack picked up the phone and snapped it shut, tossing it across the room as Chloe's legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him back down.


End file.
